Sharing the joy of sexual intimacy. Instead of joy, it may bring gloom and sadness instead – sooner than you think – unless you do it right: at the right time and the right condition.

So, you are in a relationship now, with the man you love. And you are thinking about taking the next step to strengthen your relationship: by sharing the joy of sexual intimacy.

But is your relationship ready for that? Instead of strengthening it, premature involvement of sex in a relationship can worsen things that were beautiful.

Many break-ups and bitterness could be prevented if only both parties were willing to wait until they are really ready for that most intimate form of connection between two people.

Knowing that, then when is the right time for sexual intimacy in a relationship? What are the signs that our relationship is not ready, yet, for sex?

Lack of emotional security

What is it the motivation behind your plan to have sex with him? You want to make him feel bonded to you? More attached to you?

If it is, then you must realize that men don’t think about sex in the same way that women do. Sex can hardly make a man more attached to you, especially in these days.

If you push it to him – and later he finds out – most possibly he may feel that you have manipulated him and you will find yourself at the bitter end of bad dumping.

Lack of deeper rapport

Sex can beautify your relationship, of course. In fact, no intimate relationship between two people can reach its fullest potential to happiness without the involvement of sexual intimacy.

But, yes, there is a “but” for that, in order for sex to function that way, there is something else that must be present before: LOVE!

Love and lust is very different. You must learn and know the differences between them, and apply that knowledge truthfully if you want to have the best things that this life can bring.

It may sound strange, but it is the hard fact that sex can intensify like as well as dislike between the two people involved, depends on which one presents more dominantly, the like or the dislike.

If your boyfriend dislikes you in one area, for example, a lousy sex will make him dislike you even more. But the contrary won’t make him like you in that area.

Yes, even the most terrific sex you can give him will not change him from disliking into liking you. Only the presence of love can!

Surely by giving him that incredible sex you may be able to make him stay around you. But to him you will mean nothing more than a fancy toilet!

Lack of deeper knowledge about your partner

Do you know him enough? Do you know how he will act or react to certain circumstances? Do you know how he perceive about things that you deem important and valuable?

Is he a guy that is more than willing to put himself first in other’s shoes before saying anything judgmental about him/her? Or is he just a childish guy that love to boast his sexual adventures to every living creatures he finds on the road?

For your own sake, don’t put yourself into jeopardy by having sex with someone you hardly know of.

Lack of knowledge about sex and sexuality

Do you know how and why you get your monthly period? Why and how your body has grown so that you look the way you are now? Do you know how a woman can get pregnant and how to have safe sex? Do you know about sexually transmitted diseases?

Unless you have ample knowledge about your body and your sexuality, then sexual intimacy is definitely not for you now!

Do you really need that sexual intimacy?

Want and need are not the same things. You might want sex as much as him because, regardless of what you have heard before, men and women have the same sex drive.

But, do you need it? And even if you need it and want to do it, do you want to do it with him? Or is it because he asked/demanded it to you, in the way that makes you feel guilty if you don’t fulfill it?

Uncomfortable feeling about having that sexual intimacy

If you are not feeling comfortable having that intimate contact with your partner, then don’t do that.

You are a woman, a female. Unlike men, sex makes a woman vulnerable, at least emotionally. Not to mention the other risks that follow such as unexpected pregnancy, STD (Sexually Trasmitted disease), etc.


Sex is a risky business for females. It is you as a woman that will be burdened more when things go wrong.

Know this: sex outside wedlock will always complicate things. It will only bring you unnecessary burden and pain.

Although this may sound funny and old-fashioned to today’s world “modern ways”, but this is true: it is always better to not having sex with your partner before marriage.

So girls, use sex intimacy right and find your happiness. Or use it wrongly but don’t blame anybody else if you get your life messed up later!


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

1 Comment

  1. Scott Alan Reply

    I totally disagree with almost all of this article. Studies have shown that having sex the first date or having a some later part does not affect whether the relationship will end up in a lasting loving relationship. If the sex is great you can make up for deficiencies in other parts of the relationship. Not sure what age you are referring to but there are lotta people who don’t want empty and meaningless sex !

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