Though it is not an easy proposition, following the no contact rule is perhaps the best way of getting your ex back. This article aims at telling you everything you need to know about the no contact rule that will help to seal the crack.
No Contact Rule
The rule means exactly what it says. Cutting off all communication with your ex is what it is. It is like getting rid of an addiction to a drug. Therefore, no contact means no text messaging, no calls, no going over, no mails, or doing anything else that boils down to getting in touch with them. Do not even remotely talk about your ex to your friends. Even the smallest thought about your ex can upset the cart again.
Does “No Contact Rule” Help?
In view of the fact that you are trying to get back together with your ex, why should you follow the “no contact rule”? Though it seems contradictory, learning to live without contacting your ex cuts off your desperate need for them. It makes you confident and happy and this is exactly what your ex would want in you.
No Contact – What Else Can You Do?
Though not the best of times, the period for which you remain out of contact with your ex is the right time to look after yourself. You also learn to be happy with yourself. You can realize that you do not need your ex to be happy (though you may still want your ex). However, you have to work your way to getting happier and it requires effort. Read on to find out what else you can do.
Engage In Physical Activity
Getting into physical activity without sitting and brooding is the first thing you should do. It is all about getting into shape and improving your health. The feel good hormones (endorphins) that your body releases during exercise literally makes you feel good. Some of the physical activities that you can take part in include yoga, jogging, swimming, hitting the gym, etc. You can indulge in any of your favorite activity at least every other day.
Meet your Old Friends, Make new Friends
To get rid of the self-pity that you may develop at this stage, the best thing you can do is go out and meet people. Meet your old friends who still like your company. Meet your loved ones in the family that you haven’t spent time with in the recent past. Live up the time that you spend with all of these people.
Go on a date during the no contact period. Instead of jumping into the next relationship, use it to boost your flattened ego.
Relax, Relax, Relax
This is the best time to pamper yourself. Indulge in a relaxing spa, bath or massage. Get away to an idyllic resort if need be. Read, meditate or do yoga. It will surely heal your frayed nerves.
Stay Away From These
There are some things that are an absolute no-no when you follow the no contact rule. If you get back to doing any of these, the no-contact period would end without any progress, self-development or meaning.
#1: DO not stalk your ex
Do not stalk your ex on facebook or through any other means. Obsessing over them in your thoughts will only make you more desperate. If you are under the impression that the aim of the no-contact period is for your ex to miss you and want you back soon, you are mistaken. Even if your ex misses you and does want you back, and he/she senses desperation in you, the whole effort becomes pointless. They are going to lose the attraction they have for you.
The no contact rule is followed only to lose your addiction that you have for your ex. Remove the source of trouble, nip it in the bud. If need be, deactivate your social accounts for the interim period.
#2: Do not drink, smoke excessively
Breakup time is painful and do not try to cover it up with alcohol, drugs or cigarettes. They will only depress you and further distance you from one another. Do not end up replacing one addiction with another. Your ex would not want that. If you are planning on a binge drinking party, make sure that you keep your phone away so that you do not end up dialling your ex. That would undo the whole plan.
How Long Should this Last?
It is recommended that you follow the no contact rule for at least 30 days. If the breakup was a bad one, you need more time to heal and recoup. In that case, you can follow it for 60 or even 90 days.
What If You Are Not Able To Hold On
If you break the no contact rule start all over again. Being strict with yourself pays as the objective is to go without your ex for the specified period. Every time you break it, start all over again with the next day as day 1 of your 30/60/90 days.
What If Your Ex Contacts You
If your ex contacts you, the no contact rule is not broken. Well, if you respond in any manner, to your ex, then the no contact rule is broken and you have to start all over again. However, there are exceptions to this rule as well, as in the case of emergencies. However, all contact is restricted to matters of the concerned emergency.
What if You Have A Child Together
If you have child, then it may not be possible to be out of touch for a long period. However, you can follow the no contact period with the following rules specifically for this situation that you are in.
- You can talk with your ex only about your child.
- Treat your ex as an acquaintance if you happen to meet them.
- Do not talk about your current life or anything personal.
- Do not say anything bad about your ex to your child.
What if You Live Together
The chances that you will come back together are near zero, unless one of you moves out from wherever you are living together. Your ex will not want to see someone they broke up with on a daily basis. If it is impossible to move out, then be sure to follow these:
- Live in separate rooms/quarters.
- If you live in the same room, do not talk anything personal, but about anything in general.
- If you cannot tolerate one another, the best solution would be for one of you to move out.
Brad Browning advice. Brad is a well known expert who wrote e.g Ex Factor Guide:
and another useful advice from Corey Wayne:
The No Contact Rule – Its Essence
As has been said before, the no contact period serves to remove the addiction that you have for your ex and heals your mind and soul. Much like withdrawal from drugs, the no contact period will urge you to start it all over again. Your weaknesses and vulnerabilities are expressed during the period.
Wrapping up, even the least amount of giving in to any temptation to get in touch with your ex during the period when you are following the no contact rule will surely hurt the chances of you both coming together in later times.