Hypergamy: Motivation for Perfection or Sexist Stupidity?

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Hypergamy is a term that refers to when someone marries a person that is superior in terms of wealth or social class. Some people make the argument that hypergamy is sexist, while others simply look at it as a way to advance in life while having a fulfilling relationship. It is important that you take the time to get all of the information on this practice so that you can make the right decision for yourself. There are two sides to everything, including hypergamy.

It’s a Matter of Science

Numerous scientific studies have shown that women tend to be most attracted to men who are successful, which usually means wealthy among other things. This isn’t to say that men can’t feel the same way, because many of them actually do. Once you take the time to look at the scientific data, you will quickly realize that there is really nothing more natural than hypergamy. There is quite a bit of science to back up this assertion, and we highly recommend that you take the time to look into it before making any hasty judgments.

Components of Hypergamy

There are few key components of hypergamy that you will need to be aware of, and each one plays a crucial role in this practice.

Physical Appearance

One’s physical appearance is the first component of hypergamy. Both men and women tend to notice physical appearance before anything else, simply because it is so obvious. The more attractive you are to women, the better your chances are going to be of getting a girl that you will be truly happy with. While it’s true that wealth and success are very important to women, so are looks.

Social Status

There is no doubt that social status is also very important when it comes to hypergamy. Women tend to look for a man of a higher social status for a number of reasons, including the fact that he is well-connected and offers lots of networking opportunities. This is something that can be observed even in childhood, so it is very natural and perfectly normal.


The amount of money that a man has will definitely affect how attracted a woman is to him. The wealthier you are, the easier it will be to get the attention of women. This too is completely natural, as a vast majority of women seek financial stability and security. Nobody wants to be poor, and marrying a man with money is a great way to ensure that that doesn’t happen. Wealth is just another sign of success, which as we discussed above is a huge turn on for most women.

Only Going Up

Once a woman has worked her way up the social ladder with men, she isn’t going to settle for anything less. Women who get used to dating certain men grow accustomed to it and therefore have a very difficult time going back down. A lot of women will do whatever they can to secure their place at the top of the social ladder, so to speak. Marrying a man and having a child with him is by far the most effective way to secure their spot at the top. While this might seem a bit sexist or superficial, it is just a fact of the world.

Not all women have this perspective, but it’s important to keep in mind that many of them do. Once a woman is married to a man and has a child with him, he must pay alimony in the event of a divorce. Women crave this kind of financial security, and it is one of the motivating reasons for them to get married and have kids with someone who is wealthier than them. There is simply no denying that this is a key factor in choosing a man for a majority of women these days.

A Risky Business

Hypergamy can be quite a risky proposition for men when they are getting married to a woman of lower social standing. The fact is that you have everything to lose in this situation, because a divorce could be devastating financially. There are men who “marry up” though, and there is the same kind of risk involved but to a slightly lesser extent. When it is a man marrying a wealthy woman, there is less chance of divorce.

Striving for Perfection

When you look at hypergamy not as a sexist practice but a desire for perfection, you might see it a little bit differently. A lot of women don’t want to settle for less than they think they deserve. A lot of men see this as women using them, but this is not always the case. There are definitely women out there that just want men for their money and social standing, but that’s not everything for them. When you are able to recognize certain red flags, you can find a woman who values you for more than just those things.

A Feminist Perspective

Many people regard hypergamy as an expression of feminism as opposed to sexism. Feminism is all about women going for what they want regardless of what people think of them, and that is exactly what hypergamy is. These women face a lot of criticism from others, but they simply do not care. There are certainly numerous ways that you can see this issue, so it is important that you take a close look at all of them before making a decision as to how you feel.

Protecting Yourself as a Man

It is crucial that you learn to protect yourself from women who only want you for your money, because there are plenty of them out there. You will need to be aware of the red flags before making a commitment to any woman. Use your head and think about whether or not the women you date really like you for more than just your wealth and social status. Hypergamy isn’t an inherently bad thing, but men can really get hurt financially if they aren’t careful.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

1 Comment

  1. Feminism is not about women getting what they want no matter what anyone thinks, it is about human rights for women. Of course women use our sexuality to secure resources, especially when it is our best chance.

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