Relationships are hard, I know. Whether with it’s with a partner, family member or friend relationships can be very complex, they can sometimes feel like one way traffic or even just stuck in traffic! But how do we make a relationship better?!
Finding someone to build a relationship with is difficult enough, spending all your time trying to meet women, using single women date sites, building rapport, flirting with them, and that before you get to the a commitment of money, trust, honesty, but more importantly the task of maintaining this relationship. The idea is to generally come up with ways to keep things exciting, making time for one another and steering your way through the highs and lows of a partnership.
Even healthy relationships need an injection of pace every now and again. The actions below will make your partner and the relationship feel fuller, loved, connected, and a lot more of the S word…no not that word!…stronger!!
Relationships that work are the ones that are worked on; I hope to spark some ideas or even just to help you to recognise some areas of your relationship that could use a little tender loving care.
A good place to start is to compliment often. You are there to make the other person feel loved, respected and wanted, and of course vice versa. To help each other feel the best you can about each other compliments never go unnoticed. Genuine, honest compliments are the key here so if you like their outfit before you leave for a date… tell them!
However, saying things and not really meaning it can have adverse effects, if you say you’re going to do something, do it! Make promises that you can keep, nothing unrealistic but set yourself goals to achieve and stick to them. If you make a verbal promise to your partner out loud, this sets it stone! The key here is to stick to it, work hard to achieve it and do it. For example if you say you’re going to have date night once a week, say it out loud to your partner, set it in stone and confirm its going to happen. Once it’s out loud and out there you are more likely to strive to achieve this.
This leads me on to creating small customs or rituals within your relationship. Using the example above about regular date nights, this is healthy routine can encourage excitement, commitment, a sense of expectation and of course looking forward to date night throughout your working week. Mini traditions within a relationship can be developed into your personal secret and go to event when you need to reconnect or come together. This ‘thing’ is yours, to keep, and it can bring you closer together, whether you like it or not!
In line with this, it is very much imperative that you recognise positive actions carried out by one another. Whether it’s completing a promise, getting a promotion in work or reaching personal goals acknowledging this is crucial. Reminders and encouragement are important within a relationship to help keep the connection and strength to move forward. So if your partner made a promise to finish putting up the shelves in the back room, and has done so, then recognising, encouraging and rewarding this behaviour will be remembered for the future. This reward can, of course, be anything you like!
Not just the two of us…
A relationship very often is not just about the two of you. More often than not each of you has family and friends that are part of the deal too. Making a connection with the external family and close friends is important to developing a relationship. Have a good rapport with your partner’s friends and or family increases confidence, social activity and strengthens you as a team. Although this connection has to be genuine, or as I know from personal experience, it doesn’t last long and you will found out rather quickly.
You may also like to try listening to each other. Yes I know you probably do ‘listen’ already but have you tired active listening. Nodding and grunting does not always cut it as listening unfortunately; try reflecting your discussions back to each other, or actually acting on what you’ve heard. If you talk about needing to be more attentive then a few compliments in the following days help reflect that your discussions are not going unnoticed. Improving communication within a relationship can help perspective and understanding. The memory exercise is also a good tool to use to develop communication. Choosing and sharing a memory for the early periods of your relationship help stir the nostalgic chemicals in each other. Share moments in which the other may have forgotten, describe the feelings, what you saw, show that you were there too and certainly have not forgotten. As well as stirring positive emotions in your partner it earns good brownie points!