Looking to have kinkier sex and become a powerful sexual submissive? When you learn to finally be submissive during your sexual experiences, you’ll experience a whole new world of kinky out-of-this-world sex. The first thing you want to do is figure out what it means to be a good submissive and how submission can lead you down the path to a zestier sex life.

How To Be A Good Submissive in the Bedroom

Before we can get in to how to be powerful sexual submissive and have kinkier sex, you’ll need to learn what it means to be a good submissive. There are several things that should guide your behaviors, words, and thoughts as you submit to your partner. The most important being whether or not your partner is a good match for you in the world of dominant/submissive sex.

The true basis of sexual submission means only entering into this type of play when you fully consent. Always be honest with yourself and care for your physical and mental well-being. Being a good submissive in the bedroom requires trust. The only way to hand over a pleasurable amount of control to your partner is to trust them with that power.

During play as a submissive, your responsibility is to listen to commands as given, but to also utilize your predetermined safe-word when you reach a sexual limit. Submissives must meet certain expectations during scenes of play. These expectations must be agreed upon by both you and your partner beforehand. Because every relationship and style of play is different, there is no one-size-fits-all description of what is a good submissive and what is not.

What does this mean? Well, you could make a great submissive for one partner and a lousy submissive for another. It all depends on your predetermined rules, styles, and expectations.

How To Be A Powerful Sexual Submissive

Now that that’s out of the way, how can you actually become a powerful sexual submissive? Generally speaking, being submissive means being the one who is blind-folded, bound, gagged, or even berated. Many submissives will wear a collar in addition to such binds as another means of being controlled. How you become a powerful submissive depends on your persona. Some personas are the receiver of penetrative sex and physical play such as spanking or paddling. Others enjoy giving oral sex on their knees to feel more submissive.

To truly enjoy the role of a powerful sexual submissive, you’ll want to know what actions your partner permits and which they do not. For example, can you bring yourself to an orgasm or change position? Should you call your partner by a certain nickname or something that indicates their position of dominance?

Additionally, many dominant/submissive relationships extend far beyond the bedroom. For example, you may choose to still play the role of submissive in public or adopt. The rules of your relationship are entirely up to you and your partner.

Ideas for Kinkier Sex

Getting into a submissive headspace requires more than simply being submissive. To have kinkier sex and get into the role of a powerful sexual submissive, start with a few of these ideas. If you employ these ideas, keep in mind that your partner will play the authority role. Here are a few examples:

  • Doctor and patient
  • Teacher and student
  • Kidnapper and victim
  • Boss and employee
  • Coach and athlete
  • Military personnel
  • Photographer and model
  • Pirate and maiden

Keep in mind, there is no limit to the scenarios that you and your partner can choose to employ in the bedroom. You can even simply be a dominant or submissive version of yourself. Each of these roles and the role of submissive is almost always played with bondage. Bondage can include anything from a pair of handcuffs to being tied to the bed by all four limbs. The degree of the bondage you engage in depends on what you’ve agreed upon with your partner. Even something like the use of a leg-spreader or other bondage tools can be employed if you’re comfortable.

Does Submissive Mean Giving Up All Control?

Yes and no, but you don’t have to give up every ounce of control in order to become a submissive. In fact, you should discuss with your partner whether you’re planning on engaging in some serious BDSM or if you just want to kink up your regular routine.

Remember, the scene is your playtime. It should be scheduled and planned out well before you engage. Additionally, you may want to implement a safe word or system to keep things in your lane. One popular system is the “stoplight” system. Here you can instruct your partner with: red (stop), yellow (slow down), or green (keep going).

Becoming a powerful sexual submissive and having a kinkier sex life can be exhilarating, but it can also be a lot to digest the first few times. Take things at your own pace and make sure your partner knows exactly where you stand in terms of your preferences and limitations.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

Write A Comment