“How do I get my girlfriend back,” a guy may ask after he was caught cheating and subsequently dumped. The whole relationship is over and the girlfriend is gone, a trail of anger and pain in her wake. If you are in this position, and you’ve come to the realization that you still love her and want to rekindle your relationship, you will of course want to get her back. The problem is that she may not want to get back together with you.
The good news however is that most breakups can be patched up, even those which have been caused by cheating. Here are several tips that you can try:
First of all, figure out why you cheated on your girl. And while we’re on the subject, why do people – both men and women – cheat even when they are still in love? What could have caused you to do that to your partner?
To answer this question, you have to fess up to the real root of the problem and not just its symptoms otherwise you’ll never be able to patch up your relationship. In a way, cheating is the result of deeper problems. Generally, it can be the lack of intimacy or even frustration. So don’t just admit that you cheated or focus your mind on “How do I get my girlfriend back?” Find the root of the problem that caused your infidelity and figure out a way to fix it.
After you have dealt with the deeper problems of your relationship and how it drove you to cheat on your girlfriend, it’s time you think about apologizing. If done properly, an exceptional apology can do wonders to a strained relationship. On the other hand, if done poorly, it can also ruin your chances of getting your girl back.
Apologies are a tricky thing though and you should always remember that. Even though you’ve already made your apology, bought peace offering, or sent her an “I’m sorry” letter, there is more to an apology than simply saying “you’re sorry.”
It helps to say your apologies without being defensive or passive aggressive. After all, you are the one who’s at fault and you have to take responsibility for it. Avoid putting any blame on her even if you think that she deserves some of level of blame. She may not react favourably to it, and no amount of “I want to get my girlfriend back” can fix that kind of mistake.
Another thing to remember about making an apology is that you need to appreciate her feelings and make sure to tell her that. For example, “I know I screwed up with what I did and you the right to be mad at me.” No one likes to have their feelings ignored, especially women, and you don’t want her to feel that way. So help her love you again by telling her that she was right to feel the way she did.
However, while you are thinking of your girlfriend, you should remind her that you are affected by the breakup as well, not necessarily by her decision to breakup with you but of what you did. Failure to do so will make you look like a pushover.
For example, you can describe how guilty you feel about what happened. You can also try admitting your sadness in a dignified way in order to get her interested in you. Don’t worry too much about sounding like a sissy. Women like some sensitivity alongside a show of strength.
If you can appeal to her sensitive side, your partner won’t help but appreciate your sensitive side and things will take a turn for the better. One word of caution though. In preparing yourself to make your apology, the bigger your mistake, the longer you wait to apologize. You don’t want to apologize for an affair 2 days after it has occurred because your girlfriend would still be fuming. Take your time and stay calm.
Although not completely exhaustive, the tips mentioned here will help you get back on your two feet. An affair shows the problems behind a relationship and if you apologize correctly and address the right issues, you will be one step closer to finding a solution to the question of “how do I get my girlfriend back?”