Marriage Problems

Being Prudent – 5 Things to Check Before Getting Married

Google+ Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr

Marriage is a beautiful concept among humans. It is one of the most superficial aspects that creates a difference between animals and human beings. There’s nothing more beautiful than two people committing to each other for the rest of their lives. Getting a partner for life is one of the most extraordinary things one can achieve in his lifetime. But any marriage doesn’t need a fairytale story for a lifetime of happiness. Even love marriages require one basic and possibly an essential task for a happier future.

All’s fair in love and war, and that includes checking your future spouse. You should be aware of – and discuss – everything about your past before considering marriage. It’s worth checking certain things, which are valid across the board. Online background checks can be ordered and completed in seconds. There are many reputable services to choose from, like unmask.com. Other important things to check include relationships with family members and the person’s core values.

Their background

When we apply for a job, we suspect we’ll be subjected to a background check. We run checks on babysitters and caregivers. Yet, doing one on a future spouse seems to be an exception rather than the norm. A basic identity check can confirm they are who they say they are. It is very easy to assume a new identity with the availability of public-record information like birth certificates in freely accessible online databases.

There are high risks of people giving false identities for a marriage. Often, these relate to wealthy possessions or the acquisition of citizenship. There are many incidents of people marrying for such selfish reasons. At times, people split after fulfilling their motives, leaving behind a questionable individual with post-traumatic stress. Therefore, you should do a complete and intensive background check on their soon-to-be partner, just for assurance.

This check can also help identify other background information such as their birthplace, where they grew up, and their age. You’d be surprised how many people are deceitful about such basic details.

Their Family Relationships

One should be ready to observe their partner’s personal life at all times. It reveals a great deal of information about them and helps them understand their partner’s mindset on a deeper level. In such cases, nothing gives as much understanding about a person as their family ties. Family is such an essential aspect of everyone’s life, and one needs to know about their partner’s bond with their parents, siblings, and close blood relations. Their relationship with each other gives a better insight into how they will bond with their family member’s spouse in the future.

You’re marrying into their family. Their hesitation in introducing you to relatives could be a red flag. The existence of any family conflicts might affect you down the line, so it’s best to be aware of potential issues before tying the knot. This will make sure you know how to deal with conflict in the future. Insist on meeting all of their close family members before getting married if you haven’t and ask for reasons if they refuse. Objective reasons – their sister lives very far away – are one thing. Hone in on subjective ones. Keep in mind the way someone treats close family members will indicate how they will treat you in the future.

Their Finances (if You Can)

Marriage is as equally challenging as it is exciting. It means sharing moments of happiness, sorrow, and many other emotions. But it also requires lots of sacrifices and compromises. One of the biggest challenges that couples face after marriage is managing their finances. Of course, one now has to look after a complete individual along with himself. Hence, there is no option but to make room for their expenses. But these expenses shouldn’t be for the wrong intention. For this reason, one must keep a check on their financial history and status too.

Getting married means joint funds and debt going forward. You need to be aware of their financial history because it will affect your future to a great extent. Do you know if they’ve gone bankrupt, broken a lease, or been evicted in the past? How is their credit score? Both your credit ratings will possibly impact joint purchases in the future. Knowing of any financial baggage is only fair. If they have told you about past financial mistakes, a background check may reveal if they’ve been completely truthful. Maybe the extent of these mistakes was greater than you think.

If you know what happened, you’ll be able to plan accordingly. For example, you may decide future purchases will be in the name of the person with better credit. This way, you’ll be saving on interest. On the other hand, the other person will have a harder time improving their credit rating.

Check Into Signs of Criminal History

Trust is a key value in a marriage. But trusting the wrong person can bring suffering to the other. Individuals often become stranded in a dangerous relationship after finding out that their partner is a convict. It can result in devastating outcomes for both in the future. Therefore, checking one’s criminal history is very necessary.

Admittedly, these are hard to notice. This is yet another area in which background checks come in handy. Unless we’re talking about a minor charge, a criminal record is one of the biggest red flags when it comes to building a serious relationship. If they’ve kept bigger things like prosecution or arrests for violent crimes secret, you might reconsider this person as your future spouse.

Shared Values

It’s important people share core values before entering into a lifelong partnership. It’s safe to say people don’t get married with the intention of getting divorced, although there probably are exceptions. Diametrically opposed core values can have major and long-term conflicts as a result. One example would be where one partner wants children, and the other doesn’t.

That said, even shared values don’t guarantee you’ll always feel in love. There will be times when you don’t feel aligned with your partner. That’s perfectly normal, and it will soon pass.

Author

Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

Write A Comment