Anal sex can be seriously pleasurable to all involved, but it will take a bit of prep work to get started. Despite what pop culture and porn might have us believe, anal sex isn’t something that can just happen without lots of lube, talking, and prep work before hand. The whole idea of accidentally “slipping into the wrong hole” may happen after years of anal experience, but it isn’t likely to happen for first timers. If you’re interested in trying anal sex for the first time but aren’t sure where to start, let this beginners guide help you along the road to anal pleasure. Here’s everything you need to know about anal sex.

Start With Toys

If you’re pretty sure you want to have anal sex for the first time, you’re going to want to spend some time doing some anal training first. Any beginner considering anal sex, should start with sex toys before actually going full penetration with a partner. Start out with small butt plugs or other anal toys to get your anal muscles used to being penetrated. This can help to “train” your muscles to more easily take a dildo or penis. Part of anal training means starting with small toys or even a finger and then working your way up to larger toys. With anal sex, don’t go from 0 to 60 and go all-in without dipping a toe into the water first.

Prep Your Space

Once you’ve talked with your partner about having anal sex and have done some anal training, you can get down to the actual act. If you want to have the best first time anal sex, you’re going to want to be prepared and prep your space. Anal does have the possibility of being messy. As is the case with anytime you’re using lots of lube, toys or condoms, you want to make sure the space you engage in is washable and comfortable. This way you can focus on pleasure and not worrying about ruining your bed sheets.

Have Plenty of Lube On Hand

One of the most important aspects of anal sex for beginners is having plenty of lube on hand. In fact, lube is absolutely necessary for pain-free anal for first timers. However, not all lube is great for anal sex. Choosing the right one could make a huge difference in your total pleasure while having anal sex for the first time. Right now, there are three key types of lube to choose from.

  • Water Based Lube – Water based lube is made almost entirely from water, making it ideal for anal sex. The only issue is that water based lube can dry out quickly, which means you’ll need to frequently reapply to keep things going. Stopping to reapply lube can kill the vibe.
  • Silicone based lube – This is the lube that is most recommended for first-timers having anal sex. It works well with latex condoms and lasts longer than a water-based lube. You won’t have to worry about reapplying and can enjoy a truly silky feeling.
  • Oil based lube – Oil based lube feels smoother than a water based lube and lasts for a long time, making it great for anal sex. Unfortunately, it can stain linens or bed sheets and may degrade latex condoms causing them to tear.

How to Have The Best First Time Anal Sex

Once you’re prepped and have the right lube, you can start to engage in an anal sex with your toy or partner. This is where beginners can get nervous, as some many first-timers cite that anal sex is painful. This has everything to do with your anus and not the act itself. There is a small tight muscle in your anus known as the sphincter that keeps the anus shut tight.

It takes some time for this muscle to relax and allow things to pass through it. Unlike a bicep, this is a very strong, yet low muscle. The key to having pain-free anal for the first time is getting his muscle to relax enough so that your man can pass through with ease. Some of this will involve the anal training mentioned above, but it also starts with a bit of foreplay.

Start With A Finger

Instead of going all in with a dildo or your partner’s penis, start with a lubed finger. Either penetrate yourself or have your partner penetrate you with a finger that is well covered in lube. Slowly move the finger into the ass millimeter-by-millimeter. Give your partner feedback the entire time and let him know when to go deeply. Move slowly and advise your partner not to be rough.

Go To Finger Thrusting

Once your partner can’t go any deeper with their finger, let them slowly thrust in and out. You should be in control here, and can let them know when to speed up and when to slow down. As it becomes more enjoyable and you’re into the vibe, let your man insert a second finger. Just like before, you’re in control. Advise your partner to be slow and cautions when thrusting. Once your partner can easily thrust in and out with two fingers, you can move to three fingers or simply start having anal sex.

Refrain From Numbing

It can be tempting to reach for a numbing agent for anal sex, however these products can keep you from knowing what is happening to your body, which can result in tears or pain after the act is done. Stick with lube and take things slow.

Start On Top

One thing many people don’t consider when having anal sex for the first time is the position. For the best first-time anal sex, have your man lie on his back so that you are on control. Don’t go doggy or from behind on your first anal sex attempt. Instead, strive to be on top as this is easier for you to control how deep you take his penis and how fast the thrusting is.

Ask your partner to lie on his back without thrusting into you. He should remain totally still. Apply some lube to your man and your anus. Straddle him on your knees like in a cowgirl position. Grab hold of his penis and guide it into your anus slowly. Take your time and don’t feel the need to take it all at once. If you feel uncomfortable or any type of pain, allow your anus to fully relax around his penis. Once it has relaxed, take it a little deeper.

Once his penis is completely inside of you and you can’t go any deeper, you can start to raise your body up and down at your own pace. The main thing is to take things slowly and allow yourself plenty of time to relax the sphincter muscle. Once you’re moving up and down at a good clip, you can ask your partner to get involved by thrusting a bit himself. Remember, you’re the one in control so if this doesn’t feel good tell him to stop.

As you’re having anal sex, feel free to rub your clitoris or stimulate your vagina as you go. This is the best way to achieve orgasm, even if you’re a total anal sex beginner!

Take It Slow And Experiment

The key to the best first time anal sex is to take it slow, prep, and stay in control of your body. Never do anything that is painful or that makes you uncomfortable. At the end of the day, you’re in the driver’s seat when having anal for the first time!

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